||[Nov. 5th, 2008|01:48 pm]
Bad Ass Dads
Ok so I have a little one who just turned one recently, and it's been reall stressful between me and his mother. I'm in school right now and don't have a job, and it bothers me alot. How do you deal with not being able to provide for your child financially? What else can you do to be a good parent to the child if the mother doesn't think spending time with them is enough?
Oh, I understand all too well, my friend.
...it sucks. It really, really, sucks.
I work part time, but I'm back in school. I feel like a failure for it too- my checks are less than 500 bucks. Keep telling yourself there's reason why you are in school. ...and do you have student loans? ...even if you don't, you can apply through credit unions for student loans. The financial aid my school gave me wasn't enough to cover day care and other costs, so I got additional money. I guess you can borrow up to 14,000 a semester if you prove you need it.
...your school should be able to help with this. Go to the financial aid office. After I applied (and it only took about an hour to do all the paperwork), it was only two weeks before I got the money. That should help you out financially for a few months at least. It's helped us a ton. We'd be in the red if we hadn't gotten the money.
Spending time isn't enough- but it's all you can do right now. Seems like you understand that. financial aid will help too- and it really is a way for you to provide for the moment.
...hope this helps.
Get good grades and put yourself in a position to be a role model for your child. The mother isn't who decides if you are a good parent, you do. If you act with integrity and are confident that your choice to pursue an education for more success later, you will have shown your child that hard work and sacrifice lead to increased prosperity. That would be a tremendous gift.
First off, congrats to your little on on the best year of their life. :-)
You are in school so that you may provide for your child and family in the future. I'd say that's pretty damn important as well as admirable. I can totally understand the feeling though. There are times when, no matter what you make, you'll wonder if it's enough. So Don't get hung up on the dollars and cents.
The most important thing you can provide for young children is emotional care and stability (IMO) if the child's mom can't understand that you're doing everything you can to make your child's life better, sadly, that's on her. You have to be ok knowing that you are doing what you can today, for tomorrow.
So what else can you do if the child's mother thinks that spending time with them isn't enough? Nothing. make her understand that you don't have money to spend so you're giving all you can.
Hope you work it out.
I'm a teacher. If your kid's mom had any idea how many kids I teach whose dads don't give enough of a damn to spend time with them, she might rethink her position. It may not be the only thing kids need form their dad, but the difference it makes in their lives is HUGE.